Long Time No See

Golf. The last time I played it was 5 years ago with Frank, Steve, and Brophy at Scotch Hills. Today, I played golf again, this time with...wait for it...Frank, Steve, and Brophy at Scotch Hills. I shot a 108, good for a tie at 2nd place behind Frank at 97 and Broph at 112. I borrowed a driver from my dad because I thought I would need the extra club head (I did), and it did make a noticeable difference, at least at first. I'm talking long, straight drives. My driver juice wore off after the front 9, though, so I guess that newfangled equipment isn't good for much after all. I was definitely at an advantage going into today's round, though, because I just don't care.

I know many folks who take their golf seriously. Personally, I'll never understand that. I won't say that I don't relate to people getting worked up about their performance in competition. Hell, I'd be the last person to criticize anyone for that. I'm the guy who seriously considered leaving my college hockey team midway through my senior year because my game dropped off that season and I thought that it would be better for the team if I removed myself from the situation. What I mean is that I don't understand why so many people, mostly men, are so obsessed with this odd game. At this point, it's so much a part of white collar culture that it's ingrained in you one way or another, but I think much of it stems from a desire for men to be a part of the pack and play "The Game" (I don't mean golf).

From a young age, even I was told that I should play golf because it's something that men play and that you need to play it if you want to be good in business. Simplistic terminology, I know, but that's how it was communicated to me, if not in those exact words. It's just what people do. That alone is enough to turn me off from it. "F--- that," I say, "I won't be told that I need to do this in order to be a 'success.' Who says I even accept your definition of success in the first place." That was the four year old me speaking.

After having given golf a shot multiple times, I can say without doubt that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of middle management to executive types out there playing golf and hating it. As for the rest, they probably think that because they have the time and the money to play golf or belong to a county club, they are some kind of success. I find that pathetic.

That being said, there are a lot of golfers out there that I like, such as Frank, Steve, and Brophy. And my dad. The point is that I don't buy into that culture and I believe I see through it. Don't even get me started on the elitist nature of the game, which really has more to do with my bellyaching about it. It rubs me the wrong way to see so much land reserved for the use of a select, relatively wealthy few. There are many better ways to use those resources. And to the phonies who point out that the natural integrity and beauty of the land is being preserved, I simply ask what's so natural about meticulously cropped lawns and trees, fed by fertilizers and pocked with man made sand pits and ponds and planted with trees that weren't there to begin with? If anything, it's yet another symbol of control by the wealthy.

So anyway, this is all that went through my mind as I drove to the course today. The only reason I went was because I enjoy any opportunity I get to hang out with these guys, especially Brophy, who's always away at seminary these days. I'm so glad I don't take golf seriously because for me, it was being able to laugh at myself and the others as we stunk up the golf course that made the day. I had a carefree attitude, and I was just able to focus on sharing the day with the guys.

This leads me to something else that I think draws men to golf: the bonding aspect. Let's face it, we guys aren't interested in getting together over martinis and sitting around in a circle and crying with one another. We avoid that kind of direct emotional connection because that's something else that's been communicated that men don't do. So how do most of us get around this? We talk about and try to play sports. Not too many of us are athletic enough anymore to do much, so we play golf . We can laugh at one another's crap shots and pat each other on the back for nice shots. We'll tell the same stories for years, like the one day you played and it was pouring rain and your driver flew out of your hands on your back swing and almost hit someone. And of course, most importantly, golf gives us one more way to compare ourselves with other men and prove our worth.

As for me, I'll still avoid golf if i can, but as long as I don't give a crap and the company is good, I'll still find ways to enjoy it.